Correctly acquired experience of parents  which often lie within easy reach of children is not to be thoughtlessly dismissed as being out of step with the vibrant, and at times devastating, thinking of the younger. Children at times have a desire to be
recklessly out of the reach of their parents, often based on an imagined incompatibility of levels of thinking. Or it may also be an imaginary state of hostility that may be suspected to exist between two generation levels. Parental love towards children which has to be continuously nurtured by the older almost from the birth of their children, coupled with a definite sense of respect which freely gets generated out of  the trust which children learn to place in their parents, should span with ease the gap which tends to widen out between the two groups owing to various segments of neglect and lack of understanding. This rapport between parents and children at domestic level is something to be highly valued and taken care of by all parties concerned, the home, the school and the state, all equally well.
 

        To foster this well, Buddhist instructions seem to show great concern. In a Buddhist text called the Sermon to Singala [Singâlovâda Sutta D.N.III. p.189f.], both parties are meticulously instructed with regard to the roles each should play. This text deals with domestic ethics at three distinct levels which we would refer to as familial, inter-familial and extra-familial. Specifying parent-children relationships, this is what the text says. Today they might appear classical and ancient. They are laid down as being mutually interactive and are binding on both parties, parents as well as children.

 
          Let us begin with the parents. Both have five obligations each. 1 and 2 cover parental duty to safeguard their children with regard to their morally good behaviour. 1. To keep them away from evil ways of conduct [ pâpâ  nivârenti]. 2. To establish them on the path of virtue [kalyâne nivesenti]. In Buddhism, morals and virtues are not necessarily geographically restricted and circumscribed. Morals have to be part of human culture, as affecting  the social  and spiritual well-being of mankind, anywhere on  earth. It  is  insisted on that prerequisites to parenthood require that parents possess these qualifications to direct and guide their progeny. It transpires from our listing here that children must necessarily be equipped with these from home well before they take up their school education, away from home. 3. To provide  skills and curricular  education to  the children [sippam  sikkhâpenti]. 4. To help them to find suitable partners for marriage [patirupena dârena samyojenti] and finally 5. To hand over to children the family assets at the proper times [samayena dâyajjam niyyâdenti]. There is apparently plenty of room for modification of any of these conditions, provided they are undertaken without violation to the spirit in which they are propounded.
 
         These in turn require of the children certain specified patterns of behaviour towards their parents, both out of a sense of gratitude and of veneration. Gratitude for the benefits received from parents and veneration for their indisputable seniority, both
in terms of their age and of their maturity. In ancient Indian culture, both these virtues were held in high esteem. They were believed to add to, rather than detract from, the growth of  personality of  the  younger.
 

          They are listed as follows. 1. Being brought up by the parents, children should in turn retrospectively look after their parents in every way [bhato nesam bharissâmi].  2. Shall attend to work that needs to be done by the parents [kiccam
nesam karissâmi], who in their old age would not be as efficient as before.  3. Shall uphold the family traditions cherished by the parents [kulavamsam thapessâmi]. 4. Shall respectfully accept parental inheritance [dâyajjam patipajjâmi]. 5. On their death, shall attend to the funeral observances as required by one's own religion and culture [atha ca pana petânam kâla-
katânam dakkhinam anuppadassâmi].

          What we have described above covers the area of social, cultural and religious growth of children, well within what we would call the highly commendable domestic arena. This, we would venture to say, should apply universally everywhere,
if humans were to be regarded as humans, no less no more.

           We have now one more item left to be discussed under the 'four-fold care of children'. It may be accurately described as 'emotional mobility' [samânattatâ] on the part of parents. It means that in the joys and griefs of children, the parents should
have the capacity to climb up or climb down to the emotional level in which they would discover their children at any given moment. It is literally sitting down with them, with an immense capacity to give, share and sacrifice. It is bound to be a
tremendous booster to the emotionally shattered or shaken up youngsters, boys or girls, in their helpless moments which parents should view with sympathy and understanding.

           The Buddhist text which we have been liberally using above sums up this position of child care and growth of love by saying that  ' if these four conditions of looking after children were found wanting, no mother nor father could look forward
to receiving any respect or attention from their children [na mâtâ putta-kâranâ labhetha mânam pûjam vâ  na pitâ  putta-kâranâ  ]. Therefore we look upon these as a cooperative process of mutual interaction which, if well cultivated and adequately nurtured, should yield bountiful harvests from generation to generation, without any fear of crop failure. Any family with a larger or smaller number of children within it should, as a result of it, find their home a lovely haven for the younger and a heaven of  heavens for the older.
 
                  May all beings be well and happy. May there be peace on earth and goodwill among men.